Setting: Work Bathroom

I visit the restrooms at work for many many reasons, but making new friends is not one of them.

Most of you probably know that my job is a bit repetitive and could be likened to studying for an episode of Jeopardy only the money is not nearly as good. Therefore, when I am productive, my brain is chock full of random information spilling out at a rate that is just astonishing. This influx of trivial information leaves very little room for other things so I can tend to float around the office like the super genius zombie that I am. My zen-like state of super knowledge influx was broken in the most harsh manner today.

One of the reasons I "visit" the bathroom at work is to get away from my desk. Since I quit smoking and I pack my lunch everyday I find it hard to come up with a "legitimate" reason for me to leave my desk. So sometimes I will go sit in the bathroom (on a nice little chair that is not a toilet) and take a nap till I hear the first door open.

Other times I stand up from my desk and go for a lil walk in the building to make sure that my legs have not begun to atrophy and of course the bathroom is an apt destination as it is the furthest point from my desk on the same floor.

Now and again I get something in my eye and need to go fish it out in a room with mirrors and flourescent lighting. Thats not funny or odd, just the basic truth.

And on rare occassions, I will visit the facilities at work because I actually have to pee (and pee alone)

Today was such an ocassion. Since I stopped drinking coffee every morning I've taken a liking to tea. a lot of tea. I feel like if I put three teabags in one cup it will be like a cup of coffee. Just in case you are wondering, it's not. at all. All the same, I had to pee so I go in and do my business (which is the business of ridding myself of all that tea) and when I walk out of the stall a woman exits behind me. I go to wash my hands and then she literally screams at me "HIII. How are YOU?!". (Emphasis on the "You" in reference to me... as if I had just asked how how SHE was doing only moments earlier.) I was so thrown off I looked at her with a faceful of "wtf? omg, fo realz?" She paused for a moment and shouted (a step below screaming) "Great! Great!! GREAT!!!"

Now since my brain is addled with information about Sal Mineo, ancient Greek theatrical masks and flamingos...in that order... I was unable to muster up a response so I just stared at her and shook my head gently as to say "what, no, no I don't think so." In turn, the crazy lady proceeds to get wide eyed and somewhat offended as if my silent response was the one reaction that was unacceptable.

"Hmph, fine" was her only response as she stormed out.

Seriously, you sneak up behind someone in a public bathroom, yell nice things then get all pissy when the recipient of the screamed hello does not know how to react?The entire event was odd and it forced me to rethink my stance on public bathrooms as a whole. If anyone has an appropriate suggestion for the proper way to respond to such a thing, get all Emily Post on my ass and let me know.

Freaking weirdo.